Next race weekend begins in...

Closing Out 2024 with Race #4: Month 4 of Marathon-a-Month

Imposter syndrome in racing and dating. Believe in yourself and don't create your own obstacles. Put in the hard work and see results.

Tips for looking great when you're working hard and how to combat some negative impacts of training and take advantage of the best aspects of training.

...Ice Ice Baby...

A Lady Has Certain Needs... 

Pack to take care of your body, be prepared, and have fun!

The cold is so BRRRREFRESHING!

Training and dating just got less comfortable

"Who taught you to be a person ?" - facilitator 'Uh, no one I guess?' - group participant "Exactly. The person is the version of ourselves that we present to the world. We want to appear perfect and interesting and never have any flaws. That's a lot of pressure. What we need to do is focus on being more human and less person ." - facilitator It's impossible to be authentically yourself and also a person that everyone will like, and that will mean rejection at times. Of course, we don't want to be intentionally abrasive either, but just acknowledge that your individual nuances may not be interesting or appreciated by all other people universally. It can hurt, but it's also ok. Let me give you an example. Recently I realized that someone at an office I go to for healthcare services was single and it seemed like we had some things in common, so I thought it might be fun to get coffee and talk. Given that I didn't want to ask him out if he was in a serious relationship, I asked the receptionist for his status. "OH, he doesn't date anyone ." she said "In fact, we're pretty sure he's just waiting for his wife to show up one day. I guess that's YOU!" 'Uhhhhhhh' I had a hard time finding my words just then 'WHOA, WHOA WHOA, I was just looking to maybe have some fun and learn more about him. I'm not ready for marriage! Maybe coffee?' Hoping that her enthusiasm and level of seriousness for the situation was somewhat exaggerated, I wrote him a subtle invitation to coffee so he could open it privately and remain professional in front of the other staff. I got no response...which of course means 'no thanks'. Rejection. Initially I thought about his interpretation of my personhood - did I present myself in a way that was unappealing or...I thought back. "He really likes " the receptionist had shared, as though I was going to use this information as bait. Maybe we just weren't a fit? But I was confused. Did he even know enough about me to decide he wasn't interested? It was just an invitation for coffee. And apparently he's not even proactive at dating and yet turns down a genuine offer to connect? Now, is it possible that the receptionist was wrong and he was dating someone? Sure. Lots of possibilities exist for this snub, all basically equating to the fact that he's just not interested. Maybe you're thinking, "Oh, T, that's just ONE TIME!" Let me give you another example. On a flight from London to the States I meet a man who has been running races in various countries to meet people for the past 4 years following a breakup. We chat for a good long while. Afterwards, I wait for him at baggage claim and give him my phone number, confessing that his story and mine are very similar and that we should stay connected. He agreed. I never heard from him again. We had a lot in common, we talked for nearly an hour waiting for our flight, and he never reached out. Rejection. The nature of this passion project, IRunforLove.com, is that I will experience a lot of rejection, even if it's very subtle. When you run along a race course, passing thousands of people at a race, even if someone does reach out, it's hard not to think of the other tens or maybe even hundreds who would be a possible match but who look the other way, or maybe even judge you. Maybe they have negative opinions about the project or assume the 'why' without learning more. Maybe they aren't interested in a strong woman who knows what she wants and asks for it. Maybe they're simply shy. Give them the benefit of the doubt and don't make it more meaningful than it is. Sometimes it's just not the right person or time or circumstance. Remember, they're just flawed humans too. Approach rejection with grace and humility. The point is that we can never know the reasons in most cases when rejection happens to us, but we have to continue to live our lives as our most authentic selves and hope for the best. The more we get out there and do our best to practice being human, the more resilient we become to rejection. Like racing, it does get easier. And, it's the best shot we have. MY HUMAN -- the one who is a fit for me -- will get it. I have faith that the project will be a success, even if it means that I have to experience a lot of rejection along the way. In the end, I am confident that the result will mean I've gotten better at managing my response to these situations, and that in the end my desire to find the right person is met with great enthusiasm for a bravely romantic and vulnerable project well-run. Think we may vibe? Reach out ! XOXO, T